Thursday, November 25, 2004

A Filthy Lie: Evil Glenn and the Complete BS news team

I have it on good authority that an upcoming C-BS "We Make it up as we go long" news magazine segment will be a report on the pre-opening inspection tour of a "Red-state re-education camp." Evil Glenn has been spending time since the election as a consultant to the camps designers, and was interviewed for the segment. (This too will no doubt be dubbed "fake, but accurate.")

"We believe that there are just a few things that caused the Red-staters to vote Republican, and we believe re-education is possible," said Evil Glenn.

One of the variables discovered is that the red-staters eat red meat, while many blue staters are vegitarians. So while in the camp, red-staters will have a diet of granola, tofu and sprouts. "You know just what the average Californian eats," said Glenn, "we did offer them some faux Gras, but most of them turned it down." The camps will of course be smoke free, alchohol free (except that nice California Merlot will be offered at dinner), and salt free, but Cilantro will be available with every meal.

Music seems to also be a factor, so residents of the camp will be subjected to 23 hours of Enya and Yani, with one hour of Linda Ronstadt every day. Evil Glenn hopes this will cure them of their liking for country and western music.

For those residents of the camps not interested in music, a special TV channel that runs Michael Moore documentaries all day will be available. Evil Glenn: "We have heard that if you repeat lies over and over eventually some people will believe you."

When asked if these camps didn't seem just a bit fascist, Evil Glenn replied, "we aren't fascist, we just want to remake the country so that every one thinks like we do."

Instapundo Delenda Est!
What exaggerations, distortions or outright lies will the Legacy Media promulgate as fact in the closing days of 2004? This is the Alliance's Precision Guided Humor assignment for this week.

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